Friday, June 25, 2010

How to stop comparing yourself to others

This was originally written and posted on MahoganyButterfly.com.
If you're anything like me, you probably compare yourself to others sometimes; it could be anything-- how you look or even your career.
Amy Dubois Barnett, author of "Get Yours: How to Have Everything You Ever Dreamed of and More," has this to say about making comparisons (this applies to guys as well, by the way):

"What she's got, that's nice for her. But you, girlfriend,
are unparalleled. Your life and your path are your own. Learn from others'
successes and failures, but do you."
For the most part, this quote encourages me when I feel down. It also helps me remember that I should think about my assests and what I have to offer instead of concerning myself with what others are doing.

How do you stop this habit?

  • Become aware of what you're doing. Comparing is usually done without you even really thinking about it. The solution? Watch out for those thoughts. If you're on the lookout for them for a few days, they'll be easier to recognize, and soon, it will be hard not to notice them.
  • Stop. When you see that you're comparing, take a moment, and realize what you're doing. Don't criticize yourself or feel bad-- simply recognize the thought and gently alter your concentration.
  • Recognize your blessings. You'll be much better off if you focus on the things you already have-- shelter and food, the people in your life and the fact that you're still breathing!
  • Focus on your skills and talents. That doesn't mean boast and brag, but you should feel good about them and use them to your best advantage.
  • Be okay with imperfection. Realize you aren't perfect, and you never will be. Of course, you should always strive for excellence, but don't think you'll be the "perfect person." Your flaws make you you so you're already perfect.
  • Don't belittle others. At times, we criticize other people to make ourselves feel and look better. Doing this, however, is damaging, and in the end, it hurts you, too. How about encouraging someone instead?
  • Concentrate on your journey. Regardless of what society thinks and portrays, life isn't a competition-- it's a journey, and you should only be concerned with yours.
  • Embrace having enough. By wanting what the Jones's have, you won't see that you have everything you need. Realize that even if you only have the basics and people who love you, you are blessed.

Tips from zenhabits.net

How do you stop comparing yourself to others? I'd love to hear from you : )

Peace & Blessings,


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